ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
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