I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
We smell like vodka and hangover
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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