I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize