Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
