Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(336): View more from North Carolina

1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office

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(253): View more from Washington

Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.

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(519): View more from Ontario

Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(703): View more from Virginia

I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.

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(804): View more from Virginia

If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.

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(360): View more from Washington

We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.

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(540): View more from Virginia

Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."

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(304): View more from West Virginia

You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly

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