Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(347): View more from New York

Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one

(347): View more from New York

Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...

(802): View more from Vermont

do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.

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(347): Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one (347): Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy... (802): do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy. http://tfl.nu/wg4e

Replies (43) Good night (3234) Bad night (963)
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(574): View more from Indiana

its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.

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(574): its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes. http://tfl.nu/wfzo

Replies (68) Good night (3759) Bad night (1984)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?

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(203): walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something? http://tfl.nu/j190

Replies (27) Good night (7974) Bad night (1456)
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(925): View more from California

Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'

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(925): Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots' http://tfl.nu/c9v2

Replies (4) Good night (2992) Bad night (758)
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(209): View more from California

What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?

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(209): What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons? http://tfl.nu/8u4p

Replies (20) Good night (3315) Bad night (1163)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.

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(501): If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame. http://tfl.nu/x1of

Replies (16) Good night (881) Bad night (1917)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012

(1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

That's thinking positively..

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(717): I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012 (1-717): That's thinking positively.. http://tfl.nu/r4se

Replies (3) Good night (1749) Bad night (628)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?

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(501): Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill? http://tfl.nu/quyz

Replies (11) Good night (1634) Bad night (759)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.

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(405): Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice. http://tfl.nu/9rvd

Replies (4) Good night (1299) Bad night (462)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out

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(814): Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out http://tfl.nu/2z13

Replies (2) Good night (400) Bad night (752)
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(408): View more from California

No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard

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(408): No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard http://tfl.nu/3xoe

Replies (3) Good night (609) Bad night (334)
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(760): View more from California

I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.

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(760): I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays. http://tfl.nu/jyu4

Replies (4) Good night (742) Bad night (386)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?

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(732): if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire? http://tfl.nu/mryp

Replies (4) Good night (490) Bad night (282)
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(585): View more from New York

No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.

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(585): No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers. http://tfl.nu/i1qv

Replies (0) Good night (559) Bad night (315)
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(815): View more from Illinois

You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.

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(815): You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother. http://tfl.nu/agj9

Replies (8) Good night (203) Bad night (861)

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