WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.