I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.