Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday http://tfl.nu/yta3
  Replies (83) Good night (1359) Bad night (10080)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i. http://tfl.nu/z1bk
  Replies (16) Good night (604) Bad night (4195)
• Favorite

  (600): View more from

  I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (600): I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans http://tfl.nu/5cg9
  Replies (6) Good night (3684) Bad night (559)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took http://tfl.nu/2ren
  Replies (47) Good night (6970) Bad night (1051)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist http://tfl.nu/xqx0
  Replies (16) Good night (1376) Bad night (4078)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high http://tfl.nu/9wko
  Replies (23) Good night (1201) Bad night (6471)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies. http://tfl.nu/e64k
  Replies (24) Good night (969) Bad night (5235)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split http://tfl.nu/416l
  Replies (11) Good night (920) Bad night (2356)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this... http://tfl.nu/jh8c
  Replies (19) Good night (1894) Bad night (2990)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days http://tfl.nu/jiwq
  Replies (4) Good night (551) Bad night (1396)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion http://tfl.nu/mw29
  Replies (9) Good night (1242) Bad night (887)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.

  (1-563): View more from Iowa

  I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers. (1-563): I desperately wanted to wear your shirt. http://tfl.nu/ni9x
  Replies (3) Good night (1106) Bad night (382)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night? http://tfl.nu/oh7z
  Replies (5) Good night (1809) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much http://tfl.nu/b8oh
  Replies (1) Good night (256) Bad night (625)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar. http://tfl.nu/wmr3
  Replies (8) Good night (837) Bad night (320)

Randomize