fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he was CRYING into my vagina
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!