You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
