nut hugger
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
