Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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