I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
