then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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