laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
