I hate your face
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
What a dumb baby whore.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
