The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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