What a fucking waste of an outfit
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
