i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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