she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
