I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
