he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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