i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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