He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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