If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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