At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
