I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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