At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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