I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
