do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
