we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize
