im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
