o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
