it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Randomize
