Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
