He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
