Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
