Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
