Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
