Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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