I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
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Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
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You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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