Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
