I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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