I wannas sexs uuuuu
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You should frame my arrest warrant.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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