i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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