and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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