Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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