so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
