community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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