Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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