I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
