i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
