Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
