Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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