Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
