was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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