He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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