i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
This toilet bowl is my home.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize