Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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