how can u be prego again
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
