i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
