Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize