just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
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We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
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if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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