i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Randomize
