Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
