Joe is yelling at the trees again.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
